26th November 2005 - Buy Nothing Day

Meeting up on a freezing cold November afternoon in London, our band of secret agents were to be put to the test,
we were to play the Nexus Chainstore Massacre!

Held on Buy Nothing Day the Nexus Chainstore Massacre is a game of skill, social engineering, speed, and outright cheek! Contestants have half an hour to storm around Oxford Street collecting as many corporate logos as possible. The larger, cheekier and harder to aquire the better!

Agents Jewk and Shaz had worked long and hard on preparing for the challenge, making banners, flyers and a website for the massacre. We met in Cavendish Square gardens just off Oxford Street and set up our start and finish line. Unfortunately our strip of astoturf had no line on it, and being Buy Nothing Day we couldn't buy some paint. A quick trip to the sugar counter at Pret A Manger and we had a line the olympic comittee woud have been proud of.

El Miguel was nominated as official referee and stop watch for the game, our agents lined up and El Miguel pulled a party popper as a starting gun. Unfortunately it backfired, but by then it was too late, the contestants were halfway across the park and there was no turning back now.

Our agents picked a variety of techniques, some opting for stealth hoarding of instore information leaflets and giveaways, some going for social engineering skills and persuading staff into handing over the goods, others going for bare faced cheek and 'aquiring' shop displays by devious means.

With the stopwatch clicking our budding corporate hoarders dashed back across the line with their booty.

The Entrants
Agent Greenman opted for the Social engineering tactic and decided to go for the ultimate in evil logo's. Heading into the den of iniquity that is nike town he spent his half hour persuading the staff to hand over a signed shoe box.
Agent TF used her charm to wrangle a bundle of designer shopping bags from a variety of stores. Opting for quantity and quality as a way of winning the contest.
Agent Bristly Pioneer pulled off a rather daring coup persuading Starbucks to hand over three bags of coffee and 20 cups (for his imaginary primary school class counting lessons).He also charmed a bag and job application form out of the staff at GAP. The rest of his haul was a bundle of promotional leaflets and a McDonalds straw.
Agent November went for the quantity not quality option hoarding dozens of leaflets, sugar sachets, cups, flyers, free giveaways and any other odds and sods that he could grab on his dash around the shops.
Agents Le Car Noir and Zargof teamed up and came back with an impressive haul. We decided not to question them too much on how they had 'aquired' the large display stands, starbucks A board, Evening Standard hoarding, and other fine pieces of corporate propaganda. Size was all important in this entry
Agent Shaz came back to the finish with a choice selection of corporate printwork. His collection included many free giveaways, leaflets and flyers, however the piece de resistance was his Waterstones staff recomendation for a novel!

A prize will be awarded to the winner at this years Space Hijackers Christmas Meal.

An impressive hoard was produced, and we all felt suitably dirty after handling so many corporate advertisers wet dreams. It was time for a toast, not least to warm us up a little from the bitter cold.

Three cheers for the Nexus Chainstore Massacre
Three boos for shopping and corporate balls.

More reports:

www.lookleftandright.com

www.nexuschainstoremassacre.cjb.net

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