Rant Of The Month

Now I know that ranting is hardly gentlemanly conduct, however there are some things in this world that can quite tip a fellow over the edge, Here are some of them. Appologies to any women folk who have come across this page, this barrack room language is hardly the place for the gentler sex.

Bloomin Scruffy Crusty Protestors

Well its quite time someone brought this up isn't it? I mean who the devil do they think they are. Turning up at all of the Anti-Globalisation protests looking like they have just been dragged through a hedge backwards. I mean what kind of ruffian image do they want to give off. With their dayglo clothes, dogs on strings and scruffy hair cuts, I'm sure their parents are outraged.

I for one have had my fill with them, its about time somebody told those smelly kids that we just won't take it any more. Scrub up an take yourself seriously, you look worse that a one eyed leper at an Egyptian bazaar. Speaking of which, I remember one time on my travels, I was in Cairo, had spent a little to long on the old hubbly bubbly and realised that I was quite intoxicated. Anyway I stood up and staggered up to an old leather faced store lady, my tie was all askew and I am sure I had started to perspire a little. Talk about hazy head, anyway the old dear began to stare into my eyes, and I felt the floor begin to sway. Couldn't remember much else to be honest, but woke up in my hotel, room stark naked and looked next to me in the bed when who should be.....Sorry drifting off the subject there a little. Yes Scruffy bloody hippies and students, quite a bloody sight if you ask me. There was a time when a man was a gent and a woman was a lady, what. I tell you what Charles my tailor would have a bally word or two to say about some of the blooming excuses for clothes those tykes seem to mistake for fashion.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not anti fashion, but there are limits to common decency. Dreads and beads, are not for me thanks, a nice paisley cravatt is quite flouncy decor enough.

So listen up and listen clear you ruffian types. All of us fine fellows are going to have to pull you up to scratch. Believe me you will feel all the better for it, a good scrub and a clean, a nice set of clothes, some new cufflinks and some polished shoes. What more could a young chap want from life. We are going to drag this blossoming protest movement out of the primeaval caves and into the world of dapper dress. We are many and we are growing.

Harold Battersby-Crawshaw

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